He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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