how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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