i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
