That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is wine microwaveable?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
