Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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