Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
