I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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