I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
