He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
