ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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