she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
