"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Found the puke drawer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
