Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
