I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
