you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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