Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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