BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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