SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize