My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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