tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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