I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
