Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
