dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
