In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
