i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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