You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
