She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
