Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
