She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
