Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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