now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
