I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
