when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize