Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
