I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
