he thought i was a dude.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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