Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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