The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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