There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think i scared a bird with my dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize