guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
