for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
