why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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