it wasn't lemon gatorade
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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