Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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