you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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