We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
