I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
