Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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