Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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