Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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