college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
