btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
