question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
