Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize