so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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