What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
