she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
