do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
