oh god the rape fog is back!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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