I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
