the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found your dick twin last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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