This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
