hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
